One of the downsides of being self-employed - especially in the beginning - is that your income at times can seem a bit dubious - if not downright precarious. There are good months, where you have steady work and you know what you're making - and then there are those other months, when ... well, you don't. And so there's a tendency to want to hoard if and when you can, and suddenly what, when you had a steady salary, seemed quite normal - buying your favorite overpriced kombucha drink AND seeing a movie AND splurging on medjool dates at the grocery store, all in the same week (gasp!) - is no longer tenable, if you expect to end the week with a dollar or two left in your pocket.
And I always like to have a dollar or two left, which I then hoard somewhere for rainy-day splurges that don't really fit in my budget, like expensive face cream or a new pair of sandals. This goes with the line of thinking of, if you spend $20 a week at Starbucks, by the end of the year you'll have had over $1000 that you could've spent on something else - like an APC leather motorcycle jacket! (Just kidding - and if only... I'm afraid it's over $1,000!)
And so in the beginning of my perilous quasi-employment, I hoarded the absolute maximum every week for my 'frivolous purchase' fund - which believe me, is growing paaiiinnnfully slowly. But then I realized something about the wonder of treats. Maybe, just maybe, I'd rather spend $5 or $10 on little treats every week, than have a really expensive something at the end of the year. Because if you recognize that your medjool dates are really luxurious and you really enjoy them, then that week you can feel happy that you've had a good treat, budget be damned, which is a big psychological boost when you're feeling tired of preparing your own meals three times a day (in New York truly exceptional!) and saying 'no' to yourself every time you press your nose against a store window (yes, I'm being a bit melodramatic!)
I was thinking about it because last night, I went to a nice cafe with a friend, a verrry nice cafe in the West Village, with a beautiful bar in the middle, and white marble-topped tables, and black and white photos on the walls, and I had a very nice black coffee, and we had a nice long chat (about moving to Paris and buying penthouses in the West Village, no less)! She is also self-employed, and she mentioned that when she is running around the city working, she often enjoys stopping and having a coffee somewhere. And I thought, "hm, I really maybe should do this more, instead of being so set on never having coffee out - just allocate money to be OUT of the apartment and sit and see people and think..." so I was so set on thinking about how I ought to do it but don't, and figuring out how I could do it (fewer farmer's market vegetables? Sacrilege!) that I realized that I almost forgot that I had just DONE it! Yes, I had just come from sitting in a very nice cafe, looking around and having a good long chat. And I pretty much overlooked it and was already on to the next thing.
Which I suppose means that my point is very hackneyed: enjoy these small pleasures, appreciate the moment, blah blah blah. I forgot to say: "remember that the best things in life are free!" Like going for long walks in good weather (I took the picture above last weekend on the Hudson River - yes the WEST side, rarely get there) or the Metropolitan Museum (well, almost free ... you can get in for a $1 if you're really insolvent). My personal hope is that I remember to enjoy the little treats that I indulge in every week... and that I ALSO manage to save up enough dollar bills for a new pair of ballet flats - mine are looking pretty down and out!
Comments